My youngest niece had her first birthday yesterday, and the family had a party for her today. The family was all there, happily chatting (or just being civil, as in the case of my parents with one another) and having a good time in Lorali’s honor. She was finished eating lunch in her high chair while everyone was talking among themselves. I decided to talk to her for a bit. Lorali doesn’t judge. She’s a cool kid.

I pulled a chair up next to her and sat down, and she let out a little happy baby noise and smiled her fangy smile.

“Hey, baby girl! You having fun?” I asked.

She responded with a little “eh” and smiled again.

“I remember the day you were born, girly,” I reminisced, ”I had just gotten out of a job interview and called your Omi to tell her how it went. She said she had to go because you were being born, and I was pretty excited for your mom and dad. When they forced me to hold you the first time I was kind of freaked out but you didn’t mind it at all.”

She squealed and I picked her up, her blue eyes not leaving me. It even made me smile. After I handed her off to my sister-in-law and stepped outside for air, I got to thinking about that job interview.

If I had gotten that job, things would’ve been different. Not necessarily better or worse, but different. If I got that job I would be living in Lancaster, doing god knows what. Because I didn’t move, though, I got to watch my nieces grow up. I got to see the oldest two go to preschool. I know I’d still be able to have seen them, but I’ve never been this involved with my brother’s new family before. Plus, if I did get that job I might not have gone back to school, and I probably wouldn’t have been accepted into Humboldt State. Despite all the bullshit and things that didn’t happen last year, they’ve managed to work out in the end.

Something about chatting with Lorali made me appreciate the mysterious workings of fate and the Universe, I guess. She’s a pretty good listener. Love her to death.